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Old 05-22-2014, 05:40 AM
david s's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Townsville, Nth Queensland,Australia
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Default dog

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but
halfway through the semester he has squandered all of his money.

He calls home.

'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is
developing...they actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach
our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that
program?'

'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll
get him in the course.'

So his father sends the dog and $2,000.

About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out.
The boy calls home.
'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm... But you just won't believe
this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the
animals how to read.'


'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in
that program?'

'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of
the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his
father is all excited.

'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him
read something!'




'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back
in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to
me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still bonking that little redhead barmaid
at the pub?''



The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before
he talks to your Mother!'

'I sure did, Dad!'

'That's my boy!'

The kid went on to be a successful lawyer with a large city firm.
Filthymutt, v12spirit and Greenman like this.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:35 AM
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Location: Syria
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Default Re: dog

Funny how smart lying to people lets you make use of them while keeping them satisfied, whereas being honest with them spoils the relations with them even if they were YOUR PARENTS.
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Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?
I forgot who said that.
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  #3  
Old 05-22-2014, 07:04 AM
david s's Avatar
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Default Re: dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by v12spirit View Post
Funny how smart lying to people lets you make use of them while keeping them satisfied, whereas being honest with them spoils the relations with them even if they were YOUR PARENTS.
Yes, it's one aspect of the joke that makes it even more amusing.
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Old 05-28-2014, 12:49 AM
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Location: Disneyland, CA
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Default Re: dog

This story worries me greatly. My daughter, 19, leaves the U.S. in 6 weeks to study abroad for a semester at the University of Queensland and will be training with the Aussie Olympic Coach at St. Peter's Western Swim Club.
The frightening similarities of the story continue, as my daughter is planning to enter law school upon graduation. You can bet I will not be letting our dog, Samantha, an Australian shepherd, out of my sight.
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Old 05-28-2014, 02:37 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Townsville, Nth Queensland,Australia
Posts: 4,855
Smile Re: dog

I hope your daughter will swim for Australia, our swimmers don't seem to be very good these days. I blame the US and the McDonalds our kids eat, they're all so fat now.

I have heard that the law faculty at Qld. Uni have so many dogs there now that they have had to build kennels.

Your German Shepherd reminds me of an incident that happened to me not long ago. A very large and fat German Shepherd came waddling past our house and did a huge dump on our front lawn. He came by again yesterday and did the same thing, only this time he brought his dog with him. I'm sure an Australian shepherd or his dog would not be so impolite.

Not that I've got anything against Germans. I like the Chancellor of Germany. I heard on a recent trip to Greece that when she was passing through customs they asked her name and she replied "Angela Merkel". "Occupation?" "No, I'm just here for a couple of days."

PS Tell your daughter to stay away from those lying jackaroos.

Last edited by david s; 05-28-2014 at 04:49 AM.
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