Go Back   Forno Bravo Forum: The Wood-Fired Oven Community > General > Humor

Like Tree6Likes
  • 1 Post By brickie in oz
  • 3 Post By Gulf
  • 1 Post By Les
  • 1 Post By david s

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-02-2013, 12:23 AM
brickie in oz's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Whittlesea
Posts: 3,455
Default The cops knocked on my door the other night

The cops knocked on my door the other night.
They said they were here to investigate a complaint about my dog chasing kids on a bike.
But my dog cant ride a bike officer?
david s likes this.
__________________
The English language was invented by people who couldnt spell.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-02-2013, 01:00 PM
david s's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Townsville, Nth Queensland,Australia
Posts: 4,761
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Quote:
Originally Posted by brickie in oz View Post
The cops knocked on my door the other night
What? Again?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-02-2013, 01:07 PM
brickie in oz's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Whittlesea
Posts: 3,455
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

I checked to see if Id told this before but couldnt see it?
__________________
The English language was invented by people who couldnt spell.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-02-2013, 02:07 PM
brickie in oz's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Whittlesea
Posts: 3,455
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Some years ago I did some work for a builder in a remote area, there was no power to the block so they had a BIG Honda auto start genny.
The builder ripped me and I suspect everyone off for payments.
I thought about taking the genny to recoup my lost $2000, but didnt.

Some weeks later two local female cops knocked on my door and I sang out to my son that the cops were here for him, "we are looking for Allan" was their reply, gulp, thats me.

Apparently someone had indeed stolen the genny and they asked if it was me.
It wasnt, but could you please thank for me who ever did it if you ever find out, they werent amused.

One of the female cops is called Donna and a real beauty, I was dreaming during our talk that maybe, just maybe she could tackle me to the floor Police Academy style...
__________________
The English language was invented by people who couldnt spell.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-02-2013, 02:18 PM
david s's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Townsville, Nth Queensland,Australia
Posts: 4,761
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Al, my joke was not intended to be offensive. Apologies if it was taken that way.

Mick, I bet it was you who ended up paying your son's fine. (I have one too.)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-02-2013, 06:36 PM
brickie in oz's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Whittlesea
Posts: 3,455
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Quote:
Originally Posted by david s View Post
Al, my joke was not intended to be offensive. Apologies if it was taken that way.
Non taken, I just thought Id had a oldtimers moment and reposted the same joke..
__________________
The English language was invented by people who couldnt spell.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-02-2013, 08:21 PM
Gulf's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,623
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Al,
Last night, some time after work, I was stopped by a cop. I was riding my Harley and just cruising thru the neighborhood. He asked "what are you out here so late at night"? I told him that I was on the way to a couple of late night lectures. He looked like he did not belive me and asked "what kind of lectures do they give at this time of night". I told him that one was on the evils of drinking alcohol, it's efects on the human body, and the evils of smoking and it's effects also.
In a very smart as tone he asked me "where and who would be giving such lectures at this time of night".

I informed him that they would be held at my house by my wife .
Les, david s and brickie in oz like this.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-02-2013, 08:24 PM
Les's Avatar
Les Les is offline
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Carson City, NV
Posts: 2,842
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gulf View Post
Al,
Last night, some time after work, I was stopped by a cop. I was riding my Harley and just cruising thru the neighborhood. He asked "what are you out here so late at night"? I told him that I was on the way to a couple of late night lectures. He looked like he did not belive me and asked "what kind of lectures do they give at this time of night". I told him that one was on the evils of drinking alcohol, it's efects on the human body, and the evils of smoking and it's effects also.
In a very smart as tone he asked me "where and who would be giving such lectures at this time of night".

I informed him that they would be held at my house by my wife .
Thats funny!!
david s likes this.
__________________
Check out my pictures here:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


If at first you don't succeed... Skydiving isn't for you.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-02-2013, 08:51 PM
david s's Avatar
Il Pizzaiolo
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Townsville, Nth Queensland,Australia
Posts: 4,761
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

I was pulled over by a cop for speeding last week and he asked me if I had a reason for exceeding the speed limit. I told him yes, I had my foot to the floor. He wasn't amused and pulled out the breathylizer. When he asked me to blow into the little tube, I told him I was shy and could I take it home and do it there?
Les likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-05-2013, 01:50 AM
Journeyman
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Bohol Philippines
Posts: 379
Default Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night

Quote:
Originally Posted by brickie in oz View Post
Some years ago I did some work for a builder in a remote area, there was no power to the block so they had a BIG Honda auto start genny.
The builder ripped me and I suspect everyone off for payments.
I thought about taking the genny to recoup my lost $2000, but didnt.

Some weeks later two local female cops knocked on my door and I sang out to my son that the cops were here for him, "we are looking for Allan" was their reply, gulp, thats me.

Apparently someone had indeed stolen the genny and they asked if it was me.
It wasnt, but could you please thank for me who ever did it if you ever find out, they werent amused.

One of the female cops is called Donna and a real beauty, I was dreaming during our talk that maybe, just maybe she could tackle me to the floor Police Academy style...
I was contacted to assist in the build of a fancy California carrot juice and vegan eatery on the coast of Oregon for these new age nutcases that had come up from SoCal. No way any of their stuff would sell here in the real world but was I going to tell them that? I was to be a lowly hired hand, no opinions welcome. So I was asked to do the flat roof, a long involved process, and some of the other guys had left without their final payments, it was disconcerting. I figured the price and doubled it, an astonishing sum, so I could get the whole thing up front in case the new age flake decided I wasn't worth the final, or damnit, bust. Besides if I got the final, whao. Not getting the job beats not getting paid. Anyway I got the job, got the huge up front payment. So up I go on the roof doing this and that, all properly done right, took weeks. I'd already done various work to the building as a carpenter getting paid weekly with one week still waiting. With a friend I'd built the facade and sidewalk overhanging roof.

So I'm merrily going about my work when I bump one of the many skylights another contractor had been working on, and it moved. It was supposed to be fastened! I continue my work and think, always thinking. The other guy had not been paid, I knew that. So he had walked off the job, that's too bad. Meanwhile I'm finishing my work and wondering about my final, pure cream, luxury payment. I had few doubts what would happen here at the end of the job. I'd get stiffed just like the others, but I'd planned for it. Still, nice to get... So I see our SoCal host through the skylight down below, and lift it up and say, "Hey!" Everyone looks up. "You got a problem." "What?" Says the in tune with the universe con artist. "Your skylights aren't fastened, they'll blow away first good storm." "Can you fix it?" "Yes I can." I drop the thing with a good thud back on its rest and go back to work. Little while later the SoCal guy climbs up my ladder and says, "How much to fix it?" I say, "Pay me my final and I'll fix it for free." So he pays me and an hour after the check clears the skylights are fastened and I'm sitting pretty!

Last edited by Lancer; 05-05-2013 at 01:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First pizza night wotavidone Pizza Stone Baking 12 11-09-2012 11:27 PM
Party for 50 people last night. Success! alphaphaedrus What You Cooked Last Night 2 09-25-2011 11:02 AM
My Outdoor Kitchen At Night piomike Outdoor Kitchen Design 2 11-16-2008 10:08 AM
13 pizza night Chef What You Cooked Last Night 4 09-28-2008 11:08 PM
Bread Night in Jabia...dueling doughs Xabia Jim Hearth Bread and Flatbread 1 01-12-2007 12:14 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:47 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0
2006/10 Forno Bravo, LLC