Forno Bravo Forum: The Wood-Fired Oven Community - Humor http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/ Heard a good one recently? Joke of the day at work? Give us your best shot! en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:34:40 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg Forno Bravo Forum: The Wood-Fired Oven Community - Humor http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/ ***Dumb Laws In NJ*** http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/dumb-laws-nj-8853.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:15:02 GMT New Jersey Crazy Law It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. You may not slurp your soup. Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com! If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates. New Jersey Crazy Law
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.


You may not slurp your soup.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.


It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.


On a highway you can not park under a bridge.


Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.


You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.


Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.


It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.


Bernards Township
It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".


Caldwell
You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.


Cranford
Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.


Cresskill
All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.


Elizabeth
It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.


Manville
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.


Newark
It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.


Ocean City
Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.


People may not slurp their soup.


Raw hamburger may not be sold.


Raritan
Profanity is prohibited.


Sea Isle City
There will be no boiling of bones on the property.


Trenton
Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.


You may not throw a bad pickle in the street ]]> Humor ThisOldGarageNJ http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/dumb-laws-nj-8853.html ***Bad DaY*** http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/bad-day-8828.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:35:57 GMT This is my definition of a bad day.... Driving to pick up sawdust for a beerkeg stove im working on,,Someone hit me and threw me into a spin,, which spun me into a concrete divider doing 50 mph The pictures say the rest... I came out a little bruised and battered but basically unhurt.. I will miss... This is my definition of a bad day.... Driving to pick up sawdust for a beerkeg stove im working on,,Someone hit me and threw me into a spin,, which spun me into a concrete divider doing 50 mph The pictures say the rest... I came out a little bruised and battered but basically unhurt.. I will miss my truck that so willfully helped build my brick oven as well as many other proects..11 years old with 128,000 miles on it,,,, still had a lot of life left... and it was hit and run,, none of the witness could get a license plate....

On the bright side, I am going car shopping tomorrow

I posted this in humor as I am really not hurt that bad and my daughter is happy I will finally be buying a new truck... so I guess the joke's on me...
Hope the insurance kicks me some decent money
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]]> Humor ThisOldGarageNJ http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/bad-day-8828.html How to cook this......? http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/how-cook-8753.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:59:15 GMT O.K....So I've just built this....and just made this (porchetta di testa) How long do you think it will take to cook in my wood-oven?
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]]> Humor cannyfradock http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/how-cook-8753.html Medieval Helpdesk http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/medieval-helpdesk-8752.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:37:26 GMT Someone just sent me this link... I love it! YouTube - Medieval helpdesk with English subtitles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ) Someone just sent me this link... I love it!

YouTube - Medieval helpdesk with English subtitles ]]> Humor Frances http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/medieval-helpdesk-8752.html So true http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/so-true-8477.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:23:26 GMT A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation
follows:

'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was
admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her
condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'

'Do you know which ward she is in?'

'Yes, ward P, room 2B'

'I'll just put you through to the nurse station.'

'Hello, ward P, how can I help?'

'I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree, I was
wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'

'I'll just check her notes. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree's
conditioned has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature
has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well
enough to go home tomorrow.'

'Oh that's wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!'

'You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?'

'No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 2b. They tell you f**k all in here. ]]> Humor dida http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/so-true-8477.html The wife http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/wife-8444.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:48:20 GMT A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps..

He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

As they walked through the ape exhibit,

They passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.

Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.

He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.

He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.

She did... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.

"Now..... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

"Now. Tell him you have a f***ing headache." ]]> Humor dida http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/wife-8444.html Auzzie yarn. http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/auzzie-yarn-8443.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:29:33 GMT The newspaper, "The Australian," over a period of weeks sought entries for
The Great Australian yarn.
This was the winner:

Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya
up to, mate?"
"Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah ... and what route are you takin'?"
"Ah, prob'ly the Missus ... after all, she stuck by me durin' the drought" ]]> Humor dida http://www.fornobravo.com/forum/f42/auzzie-yarn-8443.html