Knock knock...

[Frances]

Reminds me of the one about a young girl who goes to the doctor. He pulls out his stethoscope and says "big breaths" and she says "yeth, and I'm only thixthteen!".

[oventhusiast]

These are all....well....horrible! But I'm laughing!!!!!!

[Ed_]

I'm not sure why I'm still reading this thread. Oh, well.

There's the one about the Zen monk who goes to the hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything!"

When he gets nothing back from his $20 bill, the vendor informs him, "Change comes from within."


Yes, that's right, one joke with two punch lines!

[Les]

OK – let’s get political.

Chelsea is touring Iraq to build support for Hilary. When she meets general Petraeus, she asks him what his biggest fears were regarding Iraq. He thought for a second and replied; Osama, Obama, and your mama.

[SpringJim]

Knock knock! Who's there?
Ike. Ike who?
I can't take any more of these lousy jokes.

Knock knock! Who's there?
Police. Police who?
Pleeeese make this be the last one...

[Dutchoven]

What does the hairlip magician say at the climax of his trick?
"Petto!"

[Dutchoven]

When Condoleeza came back from here tour in Iraq, she had a debriefing with President Bush. She said, "Mr. President, the conditions there are quite upsetting. For instance, yesterday when I was readying to leave 2 Brazilian were killed!" President Bush immediately dropped his head and a tear cam down his cheek. She was quite taken a back by this and asked, "Mr. President, what's wrong, you rarely show this much emotion?" To which he replied, "I just don't know how many are in a Brazilian!"
Thats funny no matter whose party you're in!
Dutch

[Frances]

I was telling my husband about this new humour thread and the knock knock jokes and so on, and he gave me a new one to share with you all...

Knock knock! Who's there?
Owen. Owen who?
Oven builders are idiots....

...Ha, thats the last time I share any of the brilliant wit on this Forum with HIM! (and that'll be a lesson to him...)

[gjbingham]

Yes Frances, he'll suffer enormously by not participating in this dribbl...uh...wit.

[nissanneill]

Just got one from one of my students and it goes like this.
A duck walks into a bar. The bar tender asks the duck "what do you want?"
Duck replies, "got any bread?"
Bar tender replies "sorry mate, we only sell alcohol here"
Half an hour later the duck returns and is asked the same question, "What do you want?"
Duck says "Got any bread"
Bar tender says " No, I told you we only have alcohol here".
The duck returns and hour later. Just before he speaks, the bar tender says: IF YOU SAY GOT ANY BREAD ONE MORE TIME, then I'm gunna nail your beak to the bar"!!!
Duck says "Got any nails?"
Bartender says "NO"
Duck replies, "Got any bread"?


Neill