Frog jokes

[Frances]

A guy walks past a pet shop and sees a rather miserable looking frog in the window. Poor thing he thinks and goes in to ask how much it costs.
"50 USD! That's rather a lot for a simple frog, isn't it?!"
"Ah yes" the salesperson says, "but this is no normal frog, this frog is really really good in bed."

The man starts feeling even more sorry for the poor animal, and decides to buy it.

That night in bed he reaches accross for his wife, to which she mumbles "aaarrgerrofimsleeping" or words to that effect. A couple of hours later she wakes up and realises he's no longer there. She gets up to go look for him. In the Bathroom? No. Living room? No. In the study? No. Attic or cellar? No.

She finally finds him in the LAST place she would have expected, in the kitchen. He's sitting at the table with the frog and the two of them are surrounded by every cook book she posesses.

"What the heck are you doing?" she asks. And he says: "I'm telling you, once this frog learns how to cook, you're out of here!!"



I tried to think of a way to change this one round so the woman buys the frog, but I couldn't think of anything else it should be expected to do...

[Frances]

One day a hen comes into a library, walks up to the librarian and says "book, book!" So the librarian gives her two books, the hen puts them under her wings and walks off.

She brings them back again the next day and says "book, boook, booook!" So the librarian gives her three books.

The next day the hen returns the books again and says "Book, boook, book, boook!" So the librarian gives her four books. But by now she really wants to know what a hen would want with all these books, so she follows her.

The librarian follows the hen all through the village until they reach the local pond. There's a frog sitting by the pond, and the hen goes up to him, opens the first book and puts it in front of him. He looks at the first pages and says "reddit, reddit, reddit".

[Frances]

You thought they were bad? well how about this one... (Dunno why, but I just seems to have this weird affinity to frog jokes)

A woman named Felicity Paddywack works in the front office of a bank. One day a frog walks in and asks for a loan (probably because it wants to build an oven if we but knew it). She asks what guarantees it can give her, and it says "None really I'm afraid. But my father is Mick Jagger, if that helps at all."

Well, she doesn't know what to do about this loan, so she goes off to her bosses' office and tells her about the situation. And while she's sitting there her eyes keep being drawn to a wierd wire construction on the desk, with all bits of mirror and bells and all sorts on it. Finally she gets so distracted that she interrupts the conversation to ask "What IS that thing anyway?"

And her boss says: "Its a knickknack Paddywack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a rolling stone."