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brickie in oz 02-02-2013 12:23 AM

The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
The cops knocked on my door the other night.
They said they were here to investigate a complaint about my dog chasing kids on a bike.
But my dog cant ride a bike officer?

david s 02-02-2013 01:00 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brickie in oz (Post 144898)
The cops knocked on my door the other night

What? Again?

brickie in oz 02-02-2013 01:07 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
I checked to see if Id told this before but couldnt see it? :o

brickie in oz 02-02-2013 02:07 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Some years ago I did some work for a builder in a remote area, there was no power to the block so they had a BIG Honda auto start genny.
The builder ripped me and I suspect everyone off for payments.
I thought about taking the genny to recoup my lost $2000, but didnt.

Some weeks later two local female cops knocked on my door and I sang out to my son that the cops were here for him, "we are looking for Allan" was their reply, gulp, thats me.:o

Apparently someone had indeed stolen the genny and they asked if it was me.
It wasnt, but could you please thank for me who ever did it if you ever find out, they werent amused.

One of the female cops is called Donna and a real beauty, I was dreaming during our talk that maybe, just maybe she could tackle me to the floor Police Academy style...:D

david s 02-02-2013 02:18 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Al, my joke was not intended to be offensive. Apologies if it was taken that way.

Mick, I bet it was you who ended up paying your son's fine. (I have one too.)

brickie in oz 02-02-2013 06:36 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by david s (Post 144939)
Al, my joke was not intended to be offensive. Apologies if it was taken that way.

Non taken, I just thought Id had a oldtimers moment and reposted the same joke..:rolleyes:

Gulf 02-02-2013 08:21 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Al,
Last night, some time after work, I was stopped by a cop. I was riding my Harley and just cruising thru the neighborhood. He asked "what are you out here so late at night"? I told him that I was on the way to a couple of late night lectures. He looked like he did not belive me and asked "what kind of lectures do they give at this time of night". I told him that one was on the evils of drinking alcohol, it's efects on the human body, and the evils of smoking and it's effects also.
In a very smart a:eek:s tone he asked me "where and who would be giving such lectures at this time of night".

I informed him that they would be held at my house by my wife :D.

Les 02-02-2013 08:24 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gulf (Post 144962)
Al,
Last night, some time after work, I was stopped by a cop. I was riding my Harley and just cruising thru the neighborhood. He asked "what are you out here so late at night"? I told him that I was on the way to a couple of late night lectures. He looked like he did not belive me and asked "what kind of lectures do they give at this time of night". I told him that one was on the evils of drinking alcohol, it's efects on the human body, and the evils of smoking and it's effects also.
In a very smart a:eek:s tone he asked me "where and who would be giving such lectures at this time of night".

I informed him that they would be held at my house by my wife :D.

Thats funny!!:D

david s 02-02-2013 08:51 PM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
I was pulled over by a cop for speeding last week and he asked me if I had a reason for exceeding the speed limit. I told him yes, I had my foot to the floor. He wasn't amused and pulled out the breathylizer. When he asked me to blow into the little tube, I told him I was shy and could I take it home and do it there?

Lancer 05-05-2013 01:50 AM

Re: The cops knocked on my door the other night
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brickie in oz (Post 144938)
Some years ago I did some work for a builder in a remote area, there was no power to the block so they had a BIG Honda auto start genny.
The builder ripped me and I suspect everyone off for payments.
I thought about taking the genny to recoup my lost $2000, but didnt.

Some weeks later two local female cops knocked on my door and I sang out to my son that the cops were here for him, "we are looking for Allan" was their reply, gulp, thats me.:o

Apparently someone had indeed stolen the genny and they asked if it was me.
It wasnt, but could you please thank for me who ever did it if you ever find out, they werent amused.

One of the female cops is called Donna and a real beauty, I was dreaming during our talk that maybe, just maybe she could tackle me to the floor Police Academy style...:D

I was contacted to assist in the build of a fancy California carrot juice and vegan eatery on the coast of Oregon for these new age nutcases that had come up from SoCal. No way any of their stuff would sell here in the real world but was I going to tell them that? I was to be a lowly hired hand, no opinions welcome. So I was asked to do the flat roof, a long involved process, and some of the other guys had left without their final payments, it was disconcerting. I figured the price and doubled it, an astonishing sum, so I could get the whole thing up front in case the new age flake decided I wasn't worth the final, or damnit, bust. Besides if I got the final, whao. Not getting the job beats not getting paid. Anyway I got the job, got the huge up front payment. So up I go on the roof doing this and that, all properly done right, took weeks. I'd already done various work to the building as a carpenter getting paid weekly with one week still waiting. With a friend I'd built the facade and sidewalk overhanging roof.

So I'm merrily going about my work when I bump one of the many skylights another contractor had been working on, and it moved. It was supposed to be fastened! I continue my work and think, always thinking. The other guy had not been paid, I knew that. So he had walked off the job, that's too bad. Meanwhile I'm finishing my work and wondering about my final, pure cream, luxury payment. I had few doubts what would happen here at the end of the job. I'd get stiffed just like the others, but I'd planned for it. Still, nice to get... So I see our SoCal host through the skylight down below, and lift it up and say, "Hey!" Everyone looks up. "You got a problem." "What?" Says the in tune with the universe con artist. "Your skylights aren't fastened, they'll blow away first good storm." "Can you fix it?" "Yes I can." I drop the thing with a good thud back on its rest and go back to work. Little while later the SoCal guy climbs up my ladder and says, "How much to fix it?" I say, "Pay me my final and I'll fix it for free." So he pays me and an hour after the check clears the skylights are fastened and I'm sitting pretty! :D


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